Well, I am sorry to those of you who have been waiting for me to post something, ANYTHING! I have been so distracted and so unfocused.
I have mainly been so distracted by the guy in my life who unintentionally hurt me. There was something that would not allow me to let go of any of that and so that hac clouded my mind and created drama! Anyone who knows me knows that drama is not a popular thing to me. I don't like it at all. All of most of the time it isn't real. Real drama is another story, but back to THE STORY. So I have been incredibly distracted and lost my focus on God. I allowed Satan to separate me from Jesus and from the body. But even through that and through the horrible sins I committed during this time Jesus never left me. He never left town, packed up, resigned. Never! And I have a friend, a counselor, a brother in Christ who is going through a difficult time and as his friends and part of the body of Christ a group of us went to his house to pray Sunday morning. And through that, just seeing Jesus surrounding me I felt a huge release and the weight that I caused myself to carry around with me was physically lifted. Another heaviness set in, and now Jesus and I are seeking to grow through this heaviness. And I have so many mixed emotions about the subject so I won't get into that. But also through my pushing Christ away I tried to push friends away, family became my only comfort, which for me is totally backwards and a couple of my friends were hard on me but rightly so, I was very unpleasant. But I have one friend who never left me, didn't always understand and didn't know how to help sometimes, but she never ever took anything that went on or any of the emotions I showed or any of the human actions that I took on, to heart besides in a loving way and she always was committed to me, never gave up. And it showed and revealed so much Christ in her. Thank You Friend!
I have mainly been so distracted by the guy in my life who unintentionally hurt me. There was something that would not allow me to let go of any of that and so that hac clouded my mind and created drama! Anyone who knows me knows that drama is not a popular thing to me. I don't like it at all. All of most of the time it isn't real. Real drama is another story, but back to THE STORY. So I have been incredibly distracted and lost my focus on God. I allowed Satan to separate me from Jesus and from the body. But even through that and through the horrible sins I committed during this time Jesus never left me. He never left town, packed up, resigned. Never! And I have a friend, a counselor, a brother in Christ who is going through a difficult time and as his friends and part of the body of Christ a group of us went to his house to pray Sunday morning. And through that, just seeing Jesus surrounding me I felt a huge release and the weight that I caused myself to carry around with me was physically lifted. Another heaviness set in, and now Jesus and I are seeking to grow through this heaviness. And I have so many mixed emotions about the subject so I won't get into that. But also through my pushing Christ away I tried to push friends away, family became my only comfort, which for me is totally backwards and a couple of my friends were hard on me but rightly so, I was very unpleasant. But I have one friend who never left me, didn't always understand and didn't know how to help sometimes, but she never ever took anything that went on or any of the emotions I showed or any of the human actions that I took on, to heart besides in a loving way and she always was committed to me, never gave up. And it showed and revealed so much Christ in her. Thank You Friend!
And with what is going on all I can offer to people who are grieving is that it is okay to mourn, God gave us emotions and they are real. It is how you act upon those emotions that glorify God. And I know it is hard because we don't always understand and sometimes we don't even want to. But in this life we have to trust Jesus and know that He has a plan for the body of Christ. I pray for the men involved in this drastic change of the church and I pray that they would just be led by God and feel that what is going on is the right thing to be doing. Also, I pray for the church, for when the toe hurts the whole body hurts.
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